School Task Force Tackles Bullying

Laura Trotter makes sure her daughter doesn’t go on group dates or school dances, but she knows that keeping her 11-year-old from using Facebook is unrealistic.  

But the mother of two won’t let that get in the way of being a proactive parent. Trotter knows that, as times change, so does the rise in a new form of bullying—cyberbullying. 

Trotter monitors her children’s Internet use to make sure they and their friends are not involved in bullying or are being bullied. She also joined the new bullying prevention task force at Los Alamitos Unified School District, which provides parents, students and staff with tools to cope with the nationwide epidemic. This week, she gave a presentation to parents and teachers at Weaver Elementary on how to tackle bullying online and on the schoolyard.

“One out of five kids admits to being a bully or doing some bullying,” said Trotter.

Children are drawn to bullying online because of the anonymity factor. They also use YouTube and photo texting to show their friends the harm they do to others. 

Weaver Elementary Principal Erin Kominsky agrees that the rules have changed in the Internet age. 

“Kids use multiple chats, and they can post something online that can create chaos over a matter of seconds,” Kominsky said.  

Trotter said boys and girls manifest bullying differently.

“Girls are more likely to be psychologically or verbally bullied, and that is where you see them using more social media,” Trotter said. “Boys are more likely to be physically bullied.    

 “Two-hundred, eighty-two thousand students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month,” she said.  

Trotter also knows that bullying can start early in the classroom, since she has seen it firsthand as a kindergarten teacher at Los Alamitos Elementary. 

“Bullies can be any size or shape. It can be the cutest little girl in the classroom getting her friends to do the bullying,” she said. “More youth violence also occurs on school grounds than on the way to school.”

But, she said, there are techniques to end bullying and teach children to be more inclusive. Children can be taught to either be what she calls a “bucket filler” or “bucket dipper”—which means filling a peer’s self-esteem with confidence or taking away from it.

“You can’t take your words away after you say something mean,” she said. 

Bystanders play a key role in ending this behavior, since research shows that half of the time bullying can stop within 10 seconds if bystanders stick up for a bullied child, said Trotter. 

“Bystanders are much more likely to encourage the bullying, but we want this to stop,” she added. 

She said the best thing for parents to do is ask their children probing questions—questions such as who their friends are, whom they sit with at school and who the bullies are. The parent can then go to a teacher or administrator who can investigate the situation.

Tish Nighswonger is pleased with the way a teacher handled the bullying of her son. 

“My son’s teacher asked him to help her solve the problem, and he felt a boost in his self-esteem by no longer feeling like a victim,” Nighswonger said. 

Conversely, Rachel DeMarco said the way her son’s teacher handled the situation backfired.

“The teacher told the bully that I had e-mailed her about the incident, which embarrassed my son and continued the bullying,” said DeMarco.

But Trotter said that teachers are getting more training and are more aware of policies to restrict bullying, including measures such as suspensions. 

A parents who suspects that his child is being bullied can look for symptoms such as:

• sleep disturbances
• a reluctance to go to school
• low self-esteem

A bully is also likely to be a child who:

• quickly blames others for his actions
• wants to be in control
• may have immature social skills.

“We need to set limits with our children and not make idle threats,” said Trotter. “We are too permissive, but we need to understand the importance of being parents.” 

Still, Leah Lieberman Hughes feels parents who have children in LAUSD are different from children in most other public schools. 

“I think we have a different culture here because most of us choose to be here, and parents are more involved,” she said. “But it’s good to recognize these behaviors, because I know it does happen.”