A Los Alamitos writer is raising questions and eyebrows this week with his personal story of infidelity, the dating habits of the post-feminist era, and the journey that ended with him married to a "mail-order bride" half his age.
As David Haldane explains in Orange Coast:
I’m not proud of this, but one day I awoke to the realization that I had become the embodiment of an American stereotype: the middle-aged husband who imagines something better over the next ridge. Unfortunately, it was not a passing fancy but, increasingly, the dominant preoccupation of my life, ultimately leading me into the bottomless pit of an extramarital affair. Gradually, of course, my marriage unraveled until the ignominious afternoon when my wife, overhearing a hushed telephone conversation between me and my paramour, rightly sent me packing.”
From there he shares his surprise upon entering the dating world only to discover that many women aren’t interested in a committed relationship. So an Internet search for “Asian women” lands him on a dating or "mail order bride" site. He writes:
It was as if I had been magically transformed from an invisible older man into a rock star whose company women craved. Of course that appealed to my ego. On a deeper level, though, it appealed to my need for stability in a world in which the love I wanted seemed impossible to find,” he writes. “Here was a culture in which women seemed to have traditional values, were open to matrimony, and even dreamed of blissful lives in American suburbs. I understood that part of their incentive was economic.
The story ends with Haldane and his bride looking forward to their upcoming wedding anniversary.
It’s an interesting tale worth the read, and it is already provoking some strong reader reactions such as, “Gross. Sickly Paternal. Did I mention gross. Probably racist. Did I mention gross,” or a more charitable, “Your relationship may end up working. You may end up loving each other. You may end up being wonderful parents. This however does not change the nature of how your relationship started. Namely one that is largely based on economics with a healthy dose of racial exploitation.”